Every task completed well starts with listening. Imagine what happens to any business whose owner doesn't listen to customers. Listening isn't about using your ears but more about using what's between them.

Principle 1: People listen only as much as you care.

Listening requires both mental and physical effort. Who wants to put out effort for things we think so little? Hence, when we care enough about what is said or who says it, we will naturally listen. Let's see who is more caring in the following example.

Wife says to her husband, "I miss Bora Bora. How long has it been since our honeymoon?"

Consider Husband 1, who mutters, "Yeah, it's been a while," and continues playing his video game.

Now consider Husband 2, who puts down his game pad and thinks "Hmmm…she just asked that same question a couple of days ago?"

Without relying on any other context, which husband listened more?

In the context of school tasks, instructions are fairly simple and straightforward. For example, "Where does lines A and B cross? Explain why." Frankly, school work is tedious. Most students undestandably care little for school, so they usually offer the least amount of effort to answer Part A—and often neglect Part B. However, if only students realize how each small accomplishment in school contributes to their overall future success, they would care to listen more.

The main way for students to care is that you (as parents) genuinely care about their school work. That means sitting with them regularly and reviewing their school work. The question is how much do you care about your children's future? Let's put away our game pads to help our children succeed.

Principle 2: Students listen best to parents.

Although, parents and students are apart from each other most weekdays, opportunities for open discussions and thoughtful reflections in intimate settings are really only available at home. Not school or therapy office can compare. Therefore, parents have the greatest opportunity to influence their children, to teach them to listen.

How do parents get their students to listen so they can follow through on tasks? Set a good example, listen more.

Speak with your student more--about anything and everything. Then listen to their responses. It may take days, weeks, and even months. In the process, behind what you see and hear, you will learn what your child truly cares about.

Often, what students care about are diversions and entertainment, which are fine in small doses. Life is drag if it's all about work. However, knowing how to tie important tasks and repsonsibilities to what your student cares about is your ticket to getting him or her to listen.

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